On Friendship (and Romance)
“You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait”
She said, “Love don't come easy
But it's a game of give and take”
—The Supremes
"We all get hurt, and we all build walls to protect ourselves. And then spend the rest of our lives trying to take down those walls."
—#5 Galit, Heavyweight
I'm going to be honest.
You were really pretty the first time we met, and I could tell you have an outgoing personality. I’m attracted to outgoing people, but they tend to get bored of me after a few weeks. I’m introverted, so it’s not always a great match. Because of that, I didn’t want to bother trying to be your friend, because I already know where it will lead. You’ll be excited at first, we’ll hang out a lot, and then you’ll have other priorities. It’s not the kind of friendship—romantic or not—that I’m looking for.
I’m going to be honest. You were really cute the first time we met, and I could tell you have a reserved personality. Perhaps it’s your beauty alone that attracts me, but there are a lot of beautiful women in the world that I ignore, so I believe there’s something more to you. Maybe it’s because I also used to be reserved, and I can sense who you are. But because I know what being reserved is like, I didn’t bother trying to be your friend. Whatever your reasons for being reserved, I’m unlikely to change them. I’ll spend months trying to get you to open up. You’ll go along with it, because shutting me down would mean admitting you feel something and need to push me away. My optimism will wear out, and eventually I’ll move on.
I’m going to be honest. You caught my attention as soon as I walked in the room, and at the same time, I knew I had yours. I acted indifferent to see if I was right. I was right. You talked to me, and I could tell you liked me. You’re as desperate as I am for human connection. I never stay in one place for long, and what we would have wouldn't be love—just desperation. It’s not worth pursuing a friendship that won’t last when I’m hundreds of miles away.
Are my justifications correct? Do I know myself and others well enough to know what friendships won’t work?
Behind all that honesty lies the real reason I stayed put. I’ve built up walls around my heart, and I’m comfortable watching everything play out from the safety of my castle.
As a result, I didn’t ask for your number and never expected to see you again. I told God if He gave me a second chance, I would act. Some people may consider that methodology a stupid way to pursue love, but I don’t believe in coincidence.
Comments
Post a Comment